Don't get too excited - I will not be disclosing any secrets. Actually, I don't have any cooking secrets. (Sad!) But I'm happy to share with you some rules for my kitchen that you may want to incorporate into your rulebook.
1. Go gas or go home. Electric coils are the devil. Flat surface stoves look nice, but it is hella hard to control the heat on any cooktop that isn't gas. FIGHT ME.
2. Even if you're not starting out as a new cook, the first thing you should do is learn (or re-learn) how to cut an onion. Growing up, I just cut onions the way my mother did. But in 2009, I dated a guy who loved YouTube and would consult YouTube for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. It was ridiculous. But when I heard there was a way to cut an onion like a chef, I took a page from his book and ran over to YouTube. It was a life changer. Here's a quick lesson, although a video may be easier: Your onion will have a knot on one end -- and only on one end. You want to keep that knot because it'll keep the onion together later. Cut off the Hershey's kiss tip on the opposite end/side of the knot. You'll then turn the onion onto that cut-off end -- which now allows you to keep the onion stable and flat. Next, you'll cut the onion in half through the knot, so that each side has half a knot and will sit flat. (Note: when cutting vegetables, it's a good "best practice" to make your first cut in a way that lets your vegetable sit flat for subsequent cuts. Stability is important when using sharp instruments.) You're going to cut only one half at a time, and you're going to make a series of cuts going three different directions. (Think about that for a second.) I have tried swapping out which of the first two cuts goes first, and it's my personal opinion that my method works better. My BFF in Portland, however, cuts hers the other way around. She's wrong but that's okay - and I hope she reads this so we can argue about it some more. Also note - you cannot vary the last cut. It will always be last. Okay! Now. Back to the onion that should be sitting flat on your cutting board, and not standing up. You're going to make several parallel cuts into the onion (from right to left) with the tip of your knife pointing at the knot. STOP. Do not cut all the way to the knot. Remember how I said you'll need the knot to keep the onion together? Now is the time. Actually, you'll want that knot all the way to the very end in order to keep everything together. Next step: turn your knife so that it is parallel (flat side) to the cutting board. Make several parallel cuts into the onion (from top to bottom) with the blade of your knife cutting towards the knot. AGAIN, do not cut all the way through to the knot. And now onto the last step! For this final movement, you are going to cut the onion perpendicular (right angles/intersecting) to your original cut so that the blade (not the tip this time!) faces the knot. Start at the edge opposite the knot and work your way closer to the knot. And voila! You have yourself a chef-cut onion.
3. A little more on knives! When shopping for knives, you absolutely MUST go into a store to see how they feel in your hand. Otherwise you may end up with a nice looking set that fits poorly in your hand. Knife slippage is a worst case scenario. Or something like that. When transitioning from a standard set of knives to a set a nice ones, BE CAREFUL and cut slowly. Otherwise, you will lose a lot of fingernails. And this means that your vegan dish is no longer vegan, sorry. #losiento
4. Any time you have something on the stove, do not walk away from it. Yes, I understand that beans cook forever and rice needs to rest -- and that's how those things do what they do -- but for the most part, if your stove is on and there's something cooking do not abandon your station. You never know when shit will go awry.
5. Speaking of things that cook forever, don't be afraid to use a kitchen timer. Your phone also has a timer (probably), so use that. Yes, many foods will tell you when they're ready. But if you're juggling many items, use a timer or at least keep a clock nearby. My first world rant here? When my oven is on, I can only see the temperature and not the time. And when my hood is on, I can only see the level of suction it's running on and not the time. So when I've got everything going at once, I curse a lot because I can't see the time. (Happens always. You would think I'd learn. Nope!)
6. If you're afraid of germs, good luck. But stick to the basics: wash your hands OFTEN and not only before you start cooking. If you use a cutting board to cut any kind of uncooked meat, ditch it in the sink when you're done (or at least get it out of your way) so you don't accidentally re-use it on something that won't be cooked. Do not wear rings - you will wash your hands 1,000 times and it'll just be easier if you start off without them. It's up to you if you want to wear a watch or bracelet. Seems like a nuisance, though. Oh, and if you're cutting garlic be sure to get one of those stainless steel soap bars. (It's not actually soap.) It won't *completely* eliminate the garlic stink from your hands but it goes a loooong way. Highly recommend.
7. And speaking of garlic! Garlic is your friend. Always add more.
8. Learn how to flip tortillas like a real Mexican. Yes, my mother would make them from scratch (I hate the word - don't know why) on a comal. But for reheating them, those suckers go straight on the flame. In order to flip them, you have to channel your cat-like reflexes to get in there, pinch an edge, and flip it as quickly as possible without getting licked by the flame. It's second nature to me, and I like mine a little on the burny side. But it's easy to do. I taught a Caucasian friend to do this, too, in fact. I haven't checked in on her in awhile, so I don't know if she has fully graduated to the full-on Mexican way of things. But she started off with an oven mitt and tongs. Last I heard, she ditched the tongs and was still using oven mitts. Whatever works for you! This direct-flame method is fine for all types of tortillas and roti. Hell, I even reheat my naan this way, too!
9. Experiment. Yes, yes, I believe in following recipes and always try to make the same recipe twice: once, the way it's written, and again, the way I think it should be (in order to suit my tastes). Going back to experimentation -- my brother is really good at this. He is the king of Throwing Shit in a Pan and It Turns Out Delicious. I try to channel my energy when I open my pantry in search of something to eat. The best trick I learned from him -- particularly with leftover Thai food -- is that you can often rejuvenate a meal with a scrambled egg. Or over easy, as applicable. You'll know the difference.
10. My go-to website is allrecipes.com - if you're a Pinterest person, you're dead to me. If you want recipe ideas, go to a recipe website. Duh. The readers' comments are equally invaluable as they are maddening. Go take a gander and you'll see what I mean. But it's a great website for ideas, and a good rule for cooking is to compare various recipes (for the same dish, I mean). The minor variations may inspire you or quell your concerns about a particular ingredient. Ya never know.
11. Spices are important. If you're just starting out, I recommend a starter kit of garlic powder (not garlic salt!), onion powder, cumin, chili powder, oregano, crushed red pepper, and salt & pepper. You can get more flavors out of the various foods you make, so don't worry if this list seems short to you. If you're going to get into Indian cooking, you will need a lot more stuff. Take your time; that shit gets expensive (but start with garam masala). If you need just a little bit of one thing or another, head to the bulk section of your grocery store. If there's no store near you with a good bulk section, you have my condolences.
12. And speaking of Indian food! I believe there are two basic things that make such a huge difference in Indian dishes. First - America's favorite: butter. Don't throw things at me, but I do not love butter. But I understand it. And when making a curried rice, I start off with butter *and* olive oil. I think the butter gives it a deeper, nuttier flavor that really enhances the dish. And number two: cumin seeds. If your recipe calls for cumin seeds, go out and get them. Starting off your dish with sauteed cumin seeds makes a huge difference - again, to create a deeper flavor. Not all dishes will call for cumin seeds, but if it does, don't skip this step. And if it doesn't, consider doing it instead of sticking with the powder alone. As I mentioned earlier, always compare recipes. Simple does not always mean better. Shortcuts sometimes suck.
13. Trust your nose. This is the most valuable tool in your kitchen. You can smell when foods turn, burn, ripen, and near their stage of completion. Here's another tip specific to raw chicken: if you're not quite sure if your chicken has turned or is ready to turn, you'll know it when you cook it (assuming you've gone ahead with it). I read somewhere once that the enzymes/proteins or whatever it is that makes chicken smell delicious when it cooks begins to break down when the chicken starts to go bad. So if you make your chicken and don't get the typical yummy sensation in your nose? Throw it out. I'm sorry you went through that trouble. Another thing about expiration dates on packages: the contents inside of the package haven't seen the date, so don't automatically assume that you have to pitch everything as soon as that date hits. Again, trust your nose. And when in doubt, throw that shit out!
14. Vegetables. Cauliflower, brussel sprouts, and greens will stink up your fridge if you neglect them too long. Get to cookin! Tomatoes should never be refrigerated. To extend the life of red bell peppers, keep them in a plastic bag in the fridge. Don't refrigerate potatoes. Buy your avocados where poor people shop. Bigger fruit is not better fruit. The smaller oranges are better tasting than the giant, easy-to-peel ones about 99.99999999% of the time. You can rejuvenate celery with water! Carrots last forever. Eggplant is the devil. Butternut squash, although a pain in the ass to cut, is better whole. I've been lazy before and purchased the pre-cut version from the store and it just. didn't. have. something. It's always a good idea to keep emergency limes around.
15. Some foods need to rest, including spicy food (the heat will grow) and guacamole (the flavors will mingle). Don't give me that "but I love tableside guacamole at the restaurant" bullshit! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Losers.
That's it for now! Happy eating! And cooking. (I don't bake.)
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Thursday, May 24, 2018
MURDER!
Yes, murder. I've been watching two murder trials (and then some) down at the courthouse and it has been very interesting. Unfortunately, I haven't had the chance to see one trial from the very beginning to the very end, but that's okay for now. This post of observations should still be of interest to you.
1. Millennials! As with any criminal trial, evidence is important. And in order to present some of that evidence, you have to elicit this information by talking to the witness in the witness stand. Two witnesses' testimony caught my attention. One was a young Crime Scene Analyst (that was her title) who described the evidence she recovered from the parking lot where the dead guy was shot. I nearly died from exasperation when she testified that, "I collected approximately like 13 pieces of evidence." And then the second Crime Scene Analyst (almost equally as young), in describing how he collected his evidence for testing, said, "I swabbed the hands, like both hands." LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE. Listen up, people -- it either is or it isn't. Keep the "like" out of your testimony and lexicon. Yes, I realize I'm on the losing end of this complaint.
2. Domestic Violence. It was clear to me (from witness testimony) that one of the witnesses was a victim of domestic violence at the hand of the defendant. It made me question whether there is a school of thought in the field of criminal law about how to approach this scenario. One attorney did a better job than the other of refraining from asking her, "Why didn't you just leave?" Unfortunately, domestic violence doesn't work that way. Surely there is literature out there providing practice tips on how to best handle this situation, but I haven't seen it.
3. Speaking of Psychology... Three people are in a car. The person in the backseat wakes up to the sound of a gunshot. The driver, who was the boyfriend of the woman in the backseat, shot and killed the front seat passenger. According to witness testimony, after he realized the gravity of what happened, he told the girlfriend repeatedly, "Your gun, your car, your crime. Your gun, your car, your crime." Isn't that interesting? Yes, the gun belonged to the girlfriend, as did the car he was driving. But why did he say that? Was he trying to mentally distance himself from what had just happened, or did/does he really believe that's how the criminal justice system works?
4. Witness Testimony. When asking if a cell phone was "working," be more specific. I've seen two witnesses get flustered over this question/series of clarifying questions. There are various levels of what "is it working" means when it comes to cell phones -- is the screen broken? do you get text messages only? can you make and receive phone calls? does the internet work? You get my point. Don't ask that question without first clarifying what you actually mean. Oh, and apparently you can still call 911 even if your service has been disconnected? Interesting. (But don't try it unless you mean it.)
5. Witness Preparation. Finally, a funny moment! At some point in time, one of the witnesses was asked about her experience with another jurisdiction's police department. Defense counsel kept asking the witness the same questions, just stated a little differently or with graduated levels of irritation. I couldn't help but wonder where he was trying to go with this line of testimony (as was the witness, based on what I perceived to be her rising level of irritation). To the lawyer's dismay, she kept providing the same answers and the same information, and I couldn't help but think of the movie Legally Blonde. When does the judge get to intervene?!?! I soooo wanted to hear the judge say, "I believe the witness has made it clear that she was in the shower." And two more quick things: it is pretty obvious when a witness is well prepared. And body language says so much! When one of the witnesses was questioned by the prosecutor, she stood up straight, made eye contact, and provided very clear, well thought out, relevant responses. But when it was defense counsel's turn? She slouched, cocked her head to the side, and wouldn't make eye contact with him. Hmmm...
6. Technology in the Courtroom. Other than jury duty and an adoption I did a few years ago, I haven't really spent much time in a courtroom since 2004. And times have changed! Technology has made its way into the courtroom, and each of the courtrooms appears to be outfitted with the same stuff: approximately half a dozen monitors of various sizes for the jury, judge, witness stand, and counsel. There's also an overhead projector (that's what we used to call them) that is used to project the image of whatever picture or document is on the plate/device. My friend says this device is called an "Elmo." First, the irrelevant bit: I thought this thing was pretty cool. I had never seen one before! But when the prosecuting attorney slapped down the photo and tried to center it on the screen, her fingernails came into view. AND they. were. nasty. She didn't really have any fingernails to speak of, and I'm going to guess that she deals with stress by biting the shit out of her nails down to the nub until they're raw. Yuck, yuck, yuck. And now the relevant: when one of the witnesses was testifying about one of the photos being projected and where she found or collected the pieces of evidence, she touched the monitor immediately adjacent to her to show where whatever it was she was talking about was located in the photo. This wasn't immediately helpful to the rest of the courtroom since you couldn't see where she was pointing because her finger pointing didn't project onto the monitor. But for the people who matter -- i.e., the jury -- they could see it just fine because the witness stand is nearest the jury and the monitor faces them, not the rest of the courtroom. I made a mental note that making this step more interactive would be a big plus.... until I went to a different courtroom! And it was the same scenario (minus the chewed up fingernails) -- but this time, when the witness touched the screen to point something out, a little green line followed her finger! Aha! So there *is* more innovative and interactive technology available; it's just that not every attorney chooses to use it.
7. Reality. I hadn't anticipated this type of testimony from a witness. This was an aggravated assault case, and the defendant beat his girlfriend in the front seat of his car while speeding down the highway and then intentionally drove the vehicle into a concrete pillar. Everyone (3 people total) survived and the person in the backseat got out, ran away, and eventually called 911. But when the defense counsel asked the witness (the person in the backseat) why she didn't call 911 sooner, she said, "Ultimately, this is a black man." In other words, she weighed the danger she was in by being in the car with this person against the danger of calling 911 and possibly getting shot by the police when they arrived. Wow. Think about that: the witness's best friend is being assaulted. The boyfriend intentionally crashes the car at a high rate of speed. But instead of calling 911 immediately - or at the start of everything - the witness waits. Because she has considered the possible outcomes of the situation and determined that her life was LESS in danger in the presence of this violent man than in asking for help from the cops. That's a harsh reality, and something most of us don't have to think about.
1. Millennials! As with any criminal trial, evidence is important. And in order to present some of that evidence, you have to elicit this information by talking to the witness in the witness stand. Two witnesses' testimony caught my attention. One was a young Crime Scene Analyst (that was her title) who described the evidence she recovered from the parking lot where the dead guy was shot. I nearly died from exasperation when she testified that, "I collected approximately like 13 pieces of evidence." And then the second Crime Scene Analyst (almost equally as young), in describing how he collected his evidence for testing, said, "I swabbed the hands, like both hands." LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE. Listen up, people -- it either is or it isn't. Keep the "like" out of your testimony and lexicon. Yes, I realize I'm on the losing end of this complaint.
2. Domestic Violence. It was clear to me (from witness testimony) that one of the witnesses was a victim of domestic violence at the hand of the defendant. It made me question whether there is a school of thought in the field of criminal law about how to approach this scenario. One attorney did a better job than the other of refraining from asking her, "Why didn't you just leave?" Unfortunately, domestic violence doesn't work that way. Surely there is literature out there providing practice tips on how to best handle this situation, but I haven't seen it.
3. Speaking of Psychology... Three people are in a car. The person in the backseat wakes up to the sound of a gunshot. The driver, who was the boyfriend of the woman in the backseat, shot and killed the front seat passenger. According to witness testimony, after he realized the gravity of what happened, he told the girlfriend repeatedly, "Your gun, your car, your crime. Your gun, your car, your crime." Isn't that interesting? Yes, the gun belonged to the girlfriend, as did the car he was driving. But why did he say that? Was he trying to mentally distance himself from what had just happened, or did/does he really believe that's how the criminal justice system works?
4. Witness Testimony. When asking if a cell phone was "working," be more specific. I've seen two witnesses get flustered over this question/series of clarifying questions. There are various levels of what "is it working" means when it comes to cell phones -- is the screen broken? do you get text messages only? can you make and receive phone calls? does the internet work? You get my point. Don't ask that question without first clarifying what you actually mean. Oh, and apparently you can still call 911 even if your service has been disconnected? Interesting. (But don't try it unless you mean it.)
5. Witness Preparation. Finally, a funny moment! At some point in time, one of the witnesses was asked about her experience with another jurisdiction's police department. Defense counsel kept asking the witness the same questions, just stated a little differently or with graduated levels of irritation. I couldn't help but wonder where he was trying to go with this line of testimony (as was the witness, based on what I perceived to be her rising level of irritation). To the lawyer's dismay, she kept providing the same answers and the same information, and I couldn't help but think of the movie Legally Blonde. When does the judge get to intervene?!?! I soooo wanted to hear the judge say, "I believe the witness has made it clear that she was in the shower." And two more quick things: it is pretty obvious when a witness is well prepared. And body language says so much! When one of the witnesses was questioned by the prosecutor, she stood up straight, made eye contact, and provided very clear, well thought out, relevant responses. But when it was defense counsel's turn? She slouched, cocked her head to the side, and wouldn't make eye contact with him. Hmmm...
6. Technology in the Courtroom. Other than jury duty and an adoption I did a few years ago, I haven't really spent much time in a courtroom since 2004. And times have changed! Technology has made its way into the courtroom, and each of the courtrooms appears to be outfitted with the same stuff: approximately half a dozen monitors of various sizes for the jury, judge, witness stand, and counsel. There's also an overhead projector (that's what we used to call them) that is used to project the image of whatever picture or document is on the plate/device. My friend says this device is called an "Elmo." First, the irrelevant bit: I thought this thing was pretty cool. I had never seen one before! But when the prosecuting attorney slapped down the photo and tried to center it on the screen, her fingernails came into view. AND they. were. nasty. She didn't really have any fingernails to speak of, and I'm going to guess that she deals with stress by biting the shit out of her nails down to the nub until they're raw. Yuck, yuck, yuck. And now the relevant: when one of the witnesses was testifying about one of the photos being projected and where she found or collected the pieces of evidence, she touched the monitor immediately adjacent to her to show where whatever it was she was talking about was located in the photo. This wasn't immediately helpful to the rest of the courtroom since you couldn't see where she was pointing because her finger pointing didn't project onto the monitor. But for the people who matter -- i.e., the jury -- they could see it just fine because the witness stand is nearest the jury and the monitor faces them, not the rest of the courtroom. I made a mental note that making this step more interactive would be a big plus.... until I went to a different courtroom! And it was the same scenario (minus the chewed up fingernails) -- but this time, when the witness touched the screen to point something out, a little green line followed her finger! Aha! So there *is* more innovative and interactive technology available; it's just that not every attorney chooses to use it.
7. Reality. I hadn't anticipated this type of testimony from a witness. This was an aggravated assault case, and the defendant beat his girlfriend in the front seat of his car while speeding down the highway and then intentionally drove the vehicle into a concrete pillar. Everyone (3 people total) survived and the person in the backseat got out, ran away, and eventually called 911. But when the defense counsel asked the witness (the person in the backseat) why she didn't call 911 sooner, she said, "Ultimately, this is a black man." In other words, she weighed the danger she was in by being in the car with this person against the danger of calling 911 and possibly getting shot by the police when they arrived. Wow. Think about that: the witness's best friend is being assaulted. The boyfriend intentionally crashes the car at a high rate of speed. But instead of calling 911 immediately - or at the start of everything - the witness waits. Because she has considered the possible outcomes of the situation and determined that her life was LESS in danger in the presence of this violent man than in asking for help from the cops. That's a harsh reality, and something most of us don't have to think about.
Sunday, April 29, 2018
China, China, China
Ohhh, China!
As you may already know, I visited China recently. Overall, it was a great trip and I would love to return to Shanghai to see more of it. We flew into Beijing, did a quick day trip (via plane & train) to Xi'an and ultimately ended our stay in Shanghai.
1. The pollution. Yes, it got to me but it snuck up on me. Beijing just looked hazy to me. It triggered my allergies, which turned into a sinus infection and a wee bit of an upper respiratory infection. I spent one day with a Nyquil hangover and several days with absolutely no sense of smell. (Btw: grateful for a travel Neti pot.) You'd think that would have kept me from eating, right? Not a chance. And speaking of food!
2. Not-so-great food. I've gotta tell ya - the food was not great. It wasn't BAD, but it definitely wasn't great. Not only was the quality subpar, but it was also often overcooked. Things may have been different if we had gone to American-style restaurants but we didn't. Oftentimes, we were traveling through parts of the country (by bus) that did not have Americanized restaurants. This is not necessarily a complaint about our dining choices. It should not surprise you (if you know me) that I would rather not travel 5,000 miles just to eat as if I were at home. Every meal came with a giant bottle of Coke, a giant bottle of water, and two giant bottles of beer. It surprised us how little the Chinese drink in general - but especially water. I can probably attribute some of my headache(s) to dehydration. Drinking water simply isn't the same there as it is here.
3. Water! Hot water is a thing in China. On the flight from the U.S. to Beijing, the flight attendants walked around with trays of small cups of water. "Hot water," they warned us. We made a mental note to figure out why that might be. Turns out, you cannot drink the water in China without boiling it first. This wasn't an issue in the hotel, though: each room was equipped with an electric kettle (and you know how I feel about those) as well as a complimentary bottle for each guest each day we were there. While out and about, though, water was harder to find. Many people carried around their own bottles to refill at public watering stations. But the public watering stations had two kinds of water: hot and REALLY HOT. All of a sudden, the hot water on the plane made sense. If you live in a country where you have to boil your water to drink it, would you ever trust cool or tepid water?
4. Sightseeing. We visited the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, the terra cotta warriors, a tea plantation, an Eastern medicine shop (herbs), a silk manufacturer, Shanghai, and a few other random places in between. By the end of the trip, there were 48 of us tourists (all American) traveling together, including a trio from Florida -- two African Americans and a tall blonde. The Chinese tourists (and most of the tourists were Chinese) wanted to have their pictures taken with this trio. A LOT. They might be Instagram famous in China now. And also - no, no one asked me for a photo. Two people mistook me for Chinese. (One woman - not her fault; she walked up to me from behind and started speaking Chinese. The other woman, for whatever reason, didn't seem to believe that I didn't speak or understand her and kept trying to talk to me.) I'd love to go back to Shanghai, but think I'd like to see Taipei before I head back to the mainland.
That's all, folks!
As you may already know, I visited China recently. Overall, it was a great trip and I would love to return to Shanghai to see more of it. We flew into Beijing, did a quick day trip (via plane & train) to Xi'an and ultimately ended our stay in Shanghai.
1. The pollution. Yes, it got to me but it snuck up on me. Beijing just looked hazy to me. It triggered my allergies, which turned into a sinus infection and a wee bit of an upper respiratory infection. I spent one day with a Nyquil hangover and several days with absolutely no sense of smell. (Btw: grateful for a travel Neti pot.) You'd think that would have kept me from eating, right? Not a chance. And speaking of food!
2. Not-so-great food. I've gotta tell ya - the food was not great. It wasn't BAD, but it definitely wasn't great. Not only was the quality subpar, but it was also often overcooked. Things may have been different if we had gone to American-style restaurants but we didn't. Oftentimes, we were traveling through parts of the country (by bus) that did not have Americanized restaurants. This is not necessarily a complaint about our dining choices. It should not surprise you (if you know me) that I would rather not travel 5,000 miles just to eat as if I were at home. Every meal came with a giant bottle of Coke, a giant bottle of water, and two giant bottles of beer. It surprised us how little the Chinese drink in general - but especially water. I can probably attribute some of my headache(s) to dehydration. Drinking water simply isn't the same there as it is here.
3. Water! Hot water is a thing in China. On the flight from the U.S. to Beijing, the flight attendants walked around with trays of small cups of water. "Hot water," they warned us. We made a mental note to figure out why that might be. Turns out, you cannot drink the water in China without boiling it first. This wasn't an issue in the hotel, though: each room was equipped with an electric kettle (and you know how I feel about those) as well as a complimentary bottle for each guest each day we were there. While out and about, though, water was harder to find. Many people carried around their own bottles to refill at public watering stations. But the public watering stations had two kinds of water: hot and REALLY HOT. All of a sudden, the hot water on the plane made sense. If you live in a country where you have to boil your water to drink it, would you ever trust cool or tepid water?
4. Sightseeing. We visited the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, the terra cotta warriors, a tea plantation, an Eastern medicine shop (herbs), a silk manufacturer, Shanghai, and a few other random places in between. By the end of the trip, there were 48 of us tourists (all American) traveling together, including a trio from Florida -- two African Americans and a tall blonde. The Chinese tourists (and most of the tourists were Chinese) wanted to have their pictures taken with this trio. A LOT. They might be Instagram famous in China now. And also - no, no one asked me for a photo. Two people mistook me for Chinese. (One woman - not her fault; she walked up to me from behind and started speaking Chinese. The other woman, for whatever reason, didn't seem to believe that I didn't speak or understand her and kept trying to talk to me.) I'd love to go back to Shanghai, but think I'd like to see Taipei before I head back to the mainland.
That's all, folks!
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Hot Tea! Coffee, too, please.
As I’ve mentioned before (see previous post), I love to
travel. One of the greatest discoveries I’ve made in my travels abroad is the electric
kettle. It sounds silly, right? Hear me out. It’s this great little single-serving
machine that heats up your water IN NO TIME in a way that a microwave could never do – and
your coffee or tea comes out perfectly every time. Every hotel room has one and
I always look forward to using it. It’s my understanding (and I haven’t
bothered to confirm this) that one reason they’re popular over there and not so much over here is because our voltage is
different. And an electric kettle in the States wouldn’t have the same amount
of oomph as one from across the
pond. I don’t know if that’s true, but I would like it to be. Which means that for me, now it’s a fact. Don't ruin this for me. And if you were to tell an Englishman that you heat up your water for a single
serving of tea in the microwave, you might kill him from sustaining the shock
of such information. (“Why don’t you use a kettle?!”) As Texans, we typically drink
our tea by the pitcher and serve it over ice, even though it starts out hot. If
or when we do make enough for just a single serving of tea, it’s probably going
to be something fancy and not your standard Lipton-type stuff. But that's not where I'm going with this; let's stick with the Lipton types. And in my
household (I cannot speak for yours), to make tea we put water in a pot on the
stove with a teabag or two – and when it gets to boiling, we take it off the
stove and make our tea in a pitcher. It’s the best! We wouldn’t *dream* of
putting the water in the microwave to make tea. But now that I’ve said it, I’m a
little curious about it even though it sounds ludicrous.
What made me think of
this was my grandfather. He died in 1998 at the age of 83. (His wife, my grandmother,
died in 1987.) I was the last grandkid stuck at home, so I got to spend a good amount
of time with him. It helped that my aunt (my mother’s youngest sibling) still
lived at home for part of that time, so I really had plenty of time with both of
them. He was a typical grandfather: he wore a hat all the time, drove a Buick
to church and back, and had dinner at our house every Sunday. He also did some quirky
things that none of us understood, but accepted: he would wash and hang dry the
foil papers that the sticks of butter were wrapped in, he would always buy canned
green beans and Vienna sausages at the grocery store (although I can’t recall
ever seeing him eat either), and he would boil his coffee on the stove (but that
one almost became a close call). He died before he was unable to take care of
himself, although I know that he and my mother discussed having him move in
with us. I used to dream about him all the time – not only while he was alive but even after he died. And if I wasn’t dreaming of him specifically, it
was highly likely that my dream would have me going back to his house for some
reason or another – it didn’t matter that he wasn’t there. It became a bit of a
running joke for me – “guess what I dreamed about last night?” – so much so
that my first college roommate would undoubtedly remember the same. He’s been
gone for almost two decades now, but I still think of him from time to time. Maybe
not daily, but often. I remember teaching him how to tear the Saran Wrap off
the roll – he thought the teeth were on the lid portion of the box; I showed him
that the teeth were actually on the bottom of the box. Once he learned that, he
never had another problem. But a confession: I pulled this one out of my
memory bank because of my own personal recent mishap – the box surrounding my
roll of cling wrap tore apart (don’t ask), and I ended up launching the roll
across my kitchen…. Much like he did before he asked for my help. And then I eventually
thought back to him boiling his coffee on the stove. Such a weird thing! But it
was always after he had brewed it, and was only using it to reheat what was
left over. And. Then. It. Finally. Hit me. Two decades too late. Like a ton of bricks: that poor guy
probably didn’t know how to use a microwave, so he reheated his coffee the same
way we make our tea. I am such an idiot for not figuring that out sooner. #epiphany
THE END.
Monday, February 19, 2018
Travel Tips.
I started this blog in 2009 with no future plans for it. As you can see, I haven't utilized it much. But as I continue to visit as many countries as I reasonably can, I've started collecting a number of travel tips that need to be committed to e-paper. Otherwise, they'll eventually take their own vacation from my memory. I may add to this later, but here goes what I've got so far -- in no particular order:
1. How do you figure out where to go? Start small by spending very little money and staying local. You should first figure out what you like to do. Are you a history buff? Do you like churches? Maybe "foodie" is on your resume. Whether it's haunted houses or knitting, first figure out what makes your brain click at home *and then* go out and spend the big bucks looking for those same things abroad or elsewhere.
2. Believe it or not, but traveling alone is GREAT. The pessimist might worry about being lonely, but I've never had that experience. By traveling alone, you don't have to worry about someone else's schedule, accommodating anyone else's diet or budget, or making anyone else happy other than yourself. Yes, it'll be more expensive on the hotel front but nowadays there are so many more options available to keep you from breaking the bank.
3. Speaking of traveling alone -- when dining out, EAT AT THE BAR. Even if there are 2-3 of you, eat at the freakin' bar. Many reasons: 1) the bartender will be your new, instant friend; 2) you will meet fun, interesting people who are also eating at the bar; 3) you can almost always get a seat at the bar -- even at the hippest joints with no available reservations for months. If you do not drink booze, I cannot help you. Another bit of advice: when traveling alone, limit your drinks to two. Three tops.
4. Always pack an emergency dress. In the summer, pack an emergency swimsuit - especially if you're traveling in Texas.
5. When packing, take as little crap with you as possible. My BFF taught me how to travel with carry-ons ONLY and it has been life changing. I realize this is not always possible, but I strongly encourage you to give it a shot. I also try to pack with as little as possible but with a little bit of room left over. After all, what good is purchasing an awesome souvenir if you can't bring it back with you?
6. And speaking of souvenirs, don't do it - unless it's something awesome for yourself. Most people back home don't give two shits.
7. This one is a little harder, but my brother is **awesome** at it. A good alternative to bringing back souvenirs for your dad/siblings/neighbor -- send a postcard! But don't forget to simultaneously purchase your postage when you buy the postcard. 99% of the time, the vendors will have them (unless you're buying it from a street vendor). Not sure where to drop it in the email? Your hotel will (especially if you tip!). And if you're AirBnB-ing it? They'll also know. One other thing: be sure to write the date on your postcard. It's always fun to see how long it takes to reach its destination.
8. Tipping. Even though you may be traveling to a country where tipping is not customary, you might be expected to tip simply because you're an American and it's *our* custom to do so. (I'm guessing you're an American if you're reading this. And probably one of my personal friends because I surely don't have a wide audience. Or *any* audience, for that matter. #sadface) The most varied experience I've had was in Mexico City: some places did not expect a tip; some places asked if you'd like to tip; and other places pretty much expected it.
9. Before you go (and this applies to international travel, not domestic), practice your conversions. What does 69 degrees Fahrenheit translate to in Celsius? Is 2 degrees really that cold? And what about meters to miles? Etc. For money conversions, get an app. I like XE Currency Converter. But it's been the temperature one that has popped up most frequently for me.
10. If you're going to post pictures to Instagram/Facebook, do it when you're back at the hotel for the night with access to wifi. You're not gonna want to post updates later, back in the States, once you've returned home.
11. And another thing about FB! Do not compare your trip to others'. You will inevitably have someone comment, "you should have told me you were going to XYZ." Yeah yeah yeah, like I'm a freakin' mind reader? THANKS. (Also: don't be one of those people.) If you want advice or trip ideas, ask it early. Otherwise, be prepared to shrug off those type of comments. And going back to my original comment (sorry, I got sidetracked), one of your friends will inevitably also be traveling to wherever it is you're going / have gone. Do not compare your trip to theirs! Yes, it might look awesome from this side of the computer, but that's the beauty of FB: you can filter out the crap and make everything look awesome. Be happy with what you've accomplished and never forget that you will *never* be able to do everything everywhere you go. So don't lament what didn't happen. Just go back! But pick a different season next time.
12. Don't be afraid of public transportation. Most big cities have transportation systems that are easy to navigate (NYC notwithstanding). And language barriers can be difficult to overcome, especially when you're in a city without a data plan or cellular service. Case in point: Seoul, Korea, has an *awesome* subway system. But if you want to risk it with the cabbies, good luck. Because the cab drivers don't speak English and you cannot fake Korean. True story.
13. Figure out what the local food is and give it a shot! Almost everyone has some culinary marvel they're proud of. And when in doubt, ask whether it's okay to drink the water. Actually, just go ahead and ask. The only time I've had a problem was in Korea -- a bottle of water I purchased turned out to be the equivalent of Coca Cola's Dasani. And if you're not already aware, Dasani lists magnesium sulfate, potassium chloride, and salt in its ingredients list (oh, and also water). I don't know which one of those ingredients is the devil, but it does very terrible things to me. I very quickly realized this (albeit the hard way), but once I switched to tap water and avoided that particular brand of water, I was fine.
14. Yes, we live in an electronic world - but be sure to also take a physical printout of your hotel accommodations or travel plans with you just. in. case.
Alright, that's it for now! If you have anything specific you'd like to know, drop your question into the comments. Thanks!
1. How do you figure out where to go? Start small by spending very little money and staying local. You should first figure out what you like to do. Are you a history buff? Do you like churches? Maybe "foodie" is on your resume. Whether it's haunted houses or knitting, first figure out what makes your brain click at home *and then* go out and spend the big bucks looking for those same things abroad or elsewhere.
2. Believe it or not, but traveling alone is GREAT. The pessimist might worry about being lonely, but I've never had that experience. By traveling alone, you don't have to worry about someone else's schedule, accommodating anyone else's diet or budget, or making anyone else happy other than yourself. Yes, it'll be more expensive on the hotel front but nowadays there are so many more options available to keep you from breaking the bank.
3. Speaking of traveling alone -- when dining out, EAT AT THE BAR. Even if there are 2-3 of you, eat at the freakin' bar. Many reasons: 1) the bartender will be your new, instant friend; 2) you will meet fun, interesting people who are also eating at the bar; 3) you can almost always get a seat at the bar -- even at the hippest joints with no available reservations for months. If you do not drink booze, I cannot help you. Another bit of advice: when traveling alone, limit your drinks to two. Three tops.
4. Always pack an emergency dress. In the summer, pack an emergency swimsuit - especially if you're traveling in Texas.
5. When packing, take as little crap with you as possible. My BFF taught me how to travel with carry-ons ONLY and it has been life changing. I realize this is not always possible, but I strongly encourage you to give it a shot. I also try to pack with as little as possible but with a little bit of room left over. After all, what good is purchasing an awesome souvenir if you can't bring it back with you?
6. And speaking of souvenirs, don't do it - unless it's something awesome for yourself. Most people back home don't give two shits.
7. This one is a little harder, but my brother is **awesome** at it. A good alternative to bringing back souvenirs for your dad/siblings/neighbor -- send a postcard! But don't forget to simultaneously purchase your postage when you buy the postcard. 99% of the time, the vendors will have them (unless you're buying it from a street vendor). Not sure where to drop it in the email? Your hotel will (especially if you tip!). And if you're AirBnB-ing it? They'll also know. One other thing: be sure to write the date on your postcard. It's always fun to see how long it takes to reach its destination.
8. Tipping. Even though you may be traveling to a country where tipping is not customary, you might be expected to tip simply because you're an American and it's *our* custom to do so. (I'm guessing you're an American if you're reading this. And probably one of my personal friends because I surely don't have a wide audience. Or *any* audience, for that matter. #sadface) The most varied experience I've had was in Mexico City: some places did not expect a tip; some places asked if you'd like to tip; and other places pretty much expected it.
9. Before you go (and this applies to international travel, not domestic), practice your conversions. What does 69 degrees Fahrenheit translate to in Celsius? Is 2 degrees really that cold? And what about meters to miles? Etc. For money conversions, get an app. I like XE Currency Converter. But it's been the temperature one that has popped up most frequently for me.
10. If you're going to post pictures to Instagram/Facebook, do it when you're back at the hotel for the night with access to wifi. You're not gonna want to post updates later, back in the States, once you've returned home.
11. And another thing about FB! Do not compare your trip to others'. You will inevitably have someone comment, "you should have told me you were going to XYZ." Yeah yeah yeah, like I'm a freakin' mind reader? THANKS. (Also: don't be one of those people.) If you want advice or trip ideas, ask it early. Otherwise, be prepared to shrug off those type of comments. And going back to my original comment (sorry, I got sidetracked), one of your friends will inevitably also be traveling to wherever it is you're going / have gone. Do not compare your trip to theirs! Yes, it might look awesome from this side of the computer, but that's the beauty of FB: you can filter out the crap and make everything look awesome. Be happy with what you've accomplished and never forget that you will *never* be able to do everything everywhere you go. So don't lament what didn't happen. Just go back! But pick a different season next time.
12. Don't be afraid of public transportation. Most big cities have transportation systems that are easy to navigate (NYC notwithstanding). And language barriers can be difficult to overcome, especially when you're in a city without a data plan or cellular service. Case in point: Seoul, Korea, has an *awesome* subway system. But if you want to risk it with the cabbies, good luck. Because the cab drivers don't speak English and you cannot fake Korean. True story.
13. Figure out what the local food is and give it a shot! Almost everyone has some culinary marvel they're proud of. And when in doubt, ask whether it's okay to drink the water. Actually, just go ahead and ask. The only time I've had a problem was in Korea -- a bottle of water I purchased turned out to be the equivalent of Coca Cola's Dasani. And if you're not already aware, Dasani lists magnesium sulfate, potassium chloride, and salt in its ingredients list (oh, and also water). I don't know which one of those ingredients is the devil, but it does very terrible things to me. I very quickly realized this (albeit the hard way), but once I switched to tap water and avoided that particular brand of water, I was fine.
14. Yes, we live in an electronic world - but be sure to also take a physical printout of your hotel accommodations or travel plans with you just. in. case.
Alright, that's it for now! If you have anything specific you'd like to know, drop your question into the comments. Thanks!
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
40 for 40.
Forty for forty.
I'll be turning 40 this year, which is apparently a big thing. Plenty of people have done it before me and plenty of people will surpass it beyond me. So what should I do with myself for this nostalgic year and eventful event? I've decided to do 40 states for my forty years. I've already visited 25 states (I hope you're good at your postal abbreviations): AZ, AR, CA, CO, FL, GA, IL, IN, KS, LA, MA, MI, MN, NE, NV, NM, NY, OR, PA, RI, TN, TX, UT, VA, WA. So now, I've only 15 states to go to meet the full 40. (That includes AL, AK, CT, DE, HI, ID, IA, KY, ME, MD, MS, MO, MT, NH, NJ, NC, ND, OH, OK, SC, SD, VT, WV, WI, and WY.) A few of them, I can bundle up into one trip if I'm diligent and resourceful with my time and smart in my choices. Wish me luck!
UPDATE: I made it to my 40! I visited Alabama, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Vermont, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. (My remaining states to 50 - with no real plans to visit yet - are: AK, CT, DE, HI, ID, IA, NC, ND, SD, and WV.) My favorite state was Kentucky: I recommend flying into Memphis and driving to Louisville, with stops along the way at Mammoth Caves, the Corvette Museum, and at least one distillery on the Bourbon Trail. New Jersey was the most hilarious: NJ -- the middle child of America, struggling to find an identity -- wasn't very pretty (poor highway placement), but we got to see Thomas Edison's house in West Orange.
A few select thoughts on my travels:
Branson, Missourri, is really just Sober Vegas. But the Titanic museum was super duper awesome! I loved it so much and would love to see it again.
Vermont smells like a rodeo. Yes, the entire state. There are lots of dairy farms there. LOTS.
Tulsa, Oklahoma, is a lot cuter than I expected.
South Carolina has some great historical sites. It was built on the backs of slaves, though, so be sure to visit the trading post-turned-museum. And the houses there all have an interesting look to them. I suspect it has something to do with being positioned that closely to the water.
Baltimore, Maryland, smells like Old Bay Seasoning. Also: as a Texan, I had **no idea** what to do with the bucket of crabs we ordered. And my brother (also a Texan) was of no help. But it was worth the good laugh!
I loved Helena, Montana! And would love to spend time in the other big cities in Montana. But maybe not in the winter. :-/
I'll be turning 40 this year, which is apparently a big thing. Plenty of people have done it before me and plenty of people will surpass it beyond me. So what should I do with myself for this nostalgic year and eventful event? I've decided to do 40 states for my forty years. I've already visited 25 states (I hope you're good at your postal abbreviations): AZ, AR, CA, CO, FL, GA, IL, IN, KS, LA, MA, MI, MN, NE, NV, NM, NY, OR, PA, RI, TN, TX, UT, VA, WA. So now, I've only 15 states to go to meet the full 40. (That includes AL, AK, CT, DE, HI, ID, IA, KY, ME, MD, MS, MO, MT, NH, NJ, NC, ND, OH, OK, SC, SD, VT, WV, WI, and WY.) A few of them, I can bundle up into one trip if I'm diligent and resourceful with my time and smart in my choices. Wish me luck!
UPDATE: I made it to my 40! I visited Alabama, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Vermont, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. (My remaining states to 50 - with no real plans to visit yet - are: AK, CT, DE, HI, ID, IA, NC, ND, SD, and WV.) My favorite state was Kentucky: I recommend flying into Memphis and driving to Louisville, with stops along the way at Mammoth Caves, the Corvette Museum, and at least one distillery on the Bourbon Trail. New Jersey was the most hilarious: NJ -- the middle child of America, struggling to find an identity -- wasn't very pretty (poor highway placement), but we got to see Thomas Edison's house in West Orange.
A few select thoughts on my travels:
Branson, Missourri, is really just Sober Vegas. But the Titanic museum was super duper awesome! I loved it so much and would love to see it again.
Vermont smells like a rodeo. Yes, the entire state. There are lots of dairy farms there. LOTS.
Tulsa, Oklahoma, is a lot cuter than I expected.
South Carolina has some great historical sites. It was built on the backs of slaves, though, so be sure to visit the trading post-turned-museum. And the houses there all have an interesting look to them. I suspect it has something to do with being positioned that closely to the water.
Baltimore, Maryland, smells like Old Bay Seasoning. Also: as a Texan, I had **no idea** what to do with the bucket of crabs we ordered. And my brother (also a Texan) was of no help. But it was worth the good laugh!
I loved Helena, Montana! And would love to spend time in the other big cities in Montana. But maybe not in the winter. :-/
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Love thy neighbor? Lord knows I'm trying.
I hadn't expected this particular topic to be my first blog, but, so be it. Let me tell you about my neighbor, Greg*. If you describe my street as being shaped like a dog-leg, then my house is at the bend, and his house is at the top of the leg. I noticed Greg months ago because he was sitting in his front yard on an old chair that you see in vintage pool halls and old seafood restaurants that haven't passed a health inspection in 20 years. Ya know, the ones with the A-shaped backs and puffy vinyl backings? Yup, those. And because he's almost always there. Doing what? Nobody knows. I recently noticed Greg hanging out at my next-door neighbor's house, tinkering with cars, inspecting lawn mowers, and doing whatever else unemployed middle-aged men do.
And then one day I got a knock on my door.
It was Saturday morning, and Greg had watched me drive past his house a few minutes earlier and decided to walk over to my house to introduce himself. He already knew my name, though (thanks to my next-door neighbor -- ahem), and proceeded to have a halfway lucid conversation with me. The most surprising thing about this interaction is that he *smelled* sober, but you could definitely tell that his synapses were either misfiring or at least stalled in second gear. (Sidenote: a few friends reminded me that many drugs don't actually generate any odors.)
But the most interesting thing about our interaction was this: Greg had walked over to my house with a cup of coffee, and held it in his right hand the entire time we talked. But before he shook my hand to say his goodbyes and walk back home, he switched his coffee cup from his right hand to his left. I watched him as he did this, and noticed that the coffee sloshed out of his cup and onto his left hand. BUT. When he shook my right hand with his right hand, he almost immediately made a face, withdrew his hand from mine, and made a hissing noise by inhaling air through his teeth and tongue, as if he had just touched something hot. And he apologized for burning me. [Pause for effect.] But what he didn't realize was that he had actually burned himself -- his other hand -- and not mine. But like I said, with those synapses stalled in second gear and/or misfiring, his brain told him that he had burned *me*, and not that he had actually burned himself.
Interesting, indeed.
*Names have not been changed to protect the guilty.
And then one day I got a knock on my door.
It was Saturday morning, and Greg had watched me drive past his house a few minutes earlier and decided to walk over to my house to introduce himself. He already knew my name, though (thanks to my next-door neighbor -- ahem), and proceeded to have a halfway lucid conversation with me. The most surprising thing about this interaction is that he *smelled* sober, but you could definitely tell that his synapses were either misfiring or at least stalled in second gear. (Sidenote: a few friends reminded me that many drugs don't actually generate any odors.)
But the most interesting thing about our interaction was this: Greg had walked over to my house with a cup of coffee, and held it in his right hand the entire time we talked. But before he shook my hand to say his goodbyes and walk back home, he switched his coffee cup from his right hand to his left. I watched him as he did this, and noticed that the coffee sloshed out of his cup and onto his left hand. BUT. When he shook my right hand with his right hand, he almost immediately made a face, withdrew his hand from mine, and made a hissing noise by inhaling air through his teeth and tongue, as if he had just touched something hot. And he apologized for burning me. [Pause for effect.] But what he didn't realize was that he had actually burned himself -- his other hand -- and not mine. But like I said, with those synapses stalled in second gear and/or misfiring, his brain told him that he had burned *me*, and not that he had actually burned himself.
Interesting, indeed.
*Names have not been changed to protect the guilty.
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